ESEM: The Race for CyberspacePaper 3
Peer Editing Worksheet delinquent: Tuesday, 10/20
Author: _Alexandra Ganapes___Editor: Paisley Singh_____
Please type direct on this document and print it out for your classmate. Be expatiate in your comments by referring to specific points, sentences, and word choices. Be a generous reader: avoid yes/no responses and one-sentence assessments.
1. Restate the dissertation of the paper. What is the argument? Is the thesis insightful and engaging, or too all-encompassing and obvious?
The thesis of the paper is “The blog allows the individual to move up a safe, anonymous space to fully express herself and live necessary and supportive feedback which could not be found anywhere else.” Her argument was basically that the online realistic community called Livejournal wholly forgets a space where an person with an interest in any take can find other people in the virtual world to relate to. Her thesis was engaging, moreover I entail it had some assumption in it. The part where she says “supportive feedback which could not be found anywhere else” is presumptuous, it is a personal opinion.
2. Does she provide analysis of the Website, or does she simply describe it without interpreting it?
How effectively does she integrate quotations from articles and descriptions of the online community into her argument?
She effectively describes what Livejournal is and she effectively integrates certain(p) quotes from the site such as the description of the site by the site in addition to authors such as Rheingold and writers on the site such as “xxallovermex”. However I face that there could be a lot more analysis, quite of description and seemingly personal opinion. She gives many examples in the Livejournal but I think she should just stick to one or two examples and have more indepth analysis.
3. Identify the organization of the paper. Does individually paragraph develop the thesis or merely recur the thesis?...If you want to get a full essay, drift it on our website: Ordercustompaper.com
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